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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Everyday kindness is the true antidote to senseless violence

My thoughts after the terrible Boston Bombings on Marathon Day, 2013.


There are many disheartening news, heart-wrenching stories about civilians getting killed, attacks on innocent people, senseless aggression.  The world, as seen through the lenses of what the news portrays, looks bleak.   Our sense of security proves to be just a creation in our head, quite illusory, and although we must do what we can through legislation to reduce violence and senseless killings, the more powerful antidote to this is to bring out of everyone what truly makes humanity special, our sense of love and compassion for each other.  There is true goodness in everyone, but it needs to be nurtured through our everyday interactions, and this is something that we each are responsible for.  Bullying, racism, discrimination, hatred... are actions that will make all of us weaker.  Were we to teach everyone to be kind and compassionate, rather than strive to follow a creed and seek power & influence, we would not need legislation to protect ourselves from each other.

We often think that parents are the ones responsible for educating their children and teaching them all these good values.  But, as part of society and a community, we are all somehow responsible for the impact we have in each other's lives, be it through direct interaction or through ignoring what's wrong. With over 7 billion people in this world, there will always be conflict, good & evil will always coexist, but as we allow for the good in people, the compassion, to flourish and continue spreading through small everyday actions, evil will remain controlled, and we will continue to live and make the most of this world.

Nothing can be taken for granted, so we should strive to make the most out of every single day we are gifted.  The following quote by the Dalai Lama gives me strength in weeks like this one, and reminds me that by doing good for others not only do I help improve the world, but I also do good to my own soul.

“Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”
– H.H. The 14th Dahlai Lama

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Pebbles & Excellence

"Nobody trips over mountains.  It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble.  Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain."  ~Author Unknown
Focus on being excellent at conquering the small pebbles.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Asia Tour 2012: An Introduction

This story has two main characters, Omar and Meru, with special guest appearances by friend and interesting characters (including intense sales women, soldiers, etc.)

Omar is your not so typical Puerto Rican boy who has developed a (healthy?) love/hate relationship with Japan and Asia in general. Mostly love, but sometimes it's still difficult for him to understand why all this food goodness has to be so far from the US.

Meru is Omar's Filipino-American big sister. Crazy, energetic, and wicked smart, Meru's charm has been known to captivate everyone around her and puzzle them. "Why is this Filipino girl speaking in five different languages, suddenly jumping around, then randomly throwing gangsta signs while posing for a picture?" no one will ever comprehend. Meru decided to take a year off med school to live in Japan and travel around Asia during breaks.

Omar and Meru woke up one day with an ache to travel around Asia that just wouldn't go away. You see, they both have been to Japan multiple times and always want to spend time there, but there are just too many places they haven't had a chance to see yet in Asia. As such they talked about a trip, and one morning over google talk they decided that if they wanted to travel they just had to go ahead and book things. Five hours chatting over google talk and many clicks and searches later they successfully booked a 3.5 weeks trip around Asia.

The schedule promised lots of moving around and fun to be had, and it included:

One night stop in Kobe
Three nights in Seoul
Three nights in Tokyo
Two nights in Osaka/Kobe
Five nights in Taipei
Four nights in Hanoi
Six nights in Cebu (for Omar, Meru will stay for longer)

Many friends asked about the thought process picking places. Our guiding principles were:

1) It will be fun and varied
2) China is huge and shouldn't be squeezed in only 3-4 days, as such it shall be excluded for now
3) We will minimize costs by finding good deals on airfare/hotels (using miles/points to pay as possible)
4) there really weren't any guidelines... We just went around looking at things and booking things as they seemed to fit the trip.

Now we are 7/24 nights into the trip and have spent time in Kobe, Seoul and Tokyo. Seoul was the only new city for the two of them, but there has been in no way a shortage of new experiences so far.

As travel schedule permits, there will be summaries of some of the experiences posted here. If you find yourself aching to know what these two characters described above are doing in Asia, read up and enjoy. You may just encounter stories and observations about furriness, old men with dancing queen ringtones, North Korean soldiers, amazing food, missed flights and price haggling in Seoul stores with cute sales people... Just because they were nice and cute.

And of course, whatever else happens in the next 17 nights going around new cities/countries.



Sunday, June 24, 2012

Impermanence, change, losses

Impermanence is, to me, what makes life thrilling and worth living.  Knowing that things constantly change means that there is a possibility that today will be a great day filled with wonder and great surprises.  And since things will change no matter what, we might as well use this to create opportunities for a brighter future and to improve everyone's lives.  Impermanence is a great thing.  But, it is this impermanence that also brings 'losses' into our lives as it makes way for new things, and coping with these losses is perhaps the most difficult thing for me to do. 

There is a big part of me that is driven to understand the what, the how, the why and then to try to control it, try to make everything predictable, manageable, manipulable.  The engineer and consultant in me just wants to be able to design a future, cut out the painful parts, sprinkle in a little bit of more happiness each day, put it to production (an optimized production, of course) and then see it flawlessly come to life.  Yet life has a funny way of reminding me constantly that things will continue to change whether I like it or not, and that I should not think of the future as something known or predictable.  

The main problem I have is losing a strong connection with someone.  My feelings towards people change as our relationship evolves, or dissolves, without any conscious effort on my behalf.  Similarly, people's opinions about me, and their feelings toward me, will inevitably change over time, for the better or worse.  Trying to somehow predict how someone will feel about me, or overly trying to make them think about me or feel about me in a certain way will only result in pain and a quicker deterioration in our relationship.

As people move on with their lives, either physically or emotionally, I must adjust to accept the reality of the moment.  I shall always cherish the bond we have or used to share and take this new reality as a potentially temporary situation that will in the future reverse.  Distance and time help clear up our thoughts and bring to life the true feelings we have, sometimes even bringing people back to your life with an even stronger connection.  But if that's not the case, and the change is permanent, I must accept that new reality and be grateful for the great memories of what used to be.  

I must focus on the present moment and what life is bringing to it right now, and make the best of it.  I need to leave the things that are out of my control at ease, let them get sorted out, and trust that anything that is missing to complete a chapter in my life story will come at just the appropriate time and place.  I should now focus my attention on cultivating what is appropriate at this time.  One step at a time. 

Monday, March 12, 2012

3rd Trip to Japan Began, Already an Adventure!

Quick update on our status flying to Japan, as updated on Facebook:

1) Started off the day by helping the United staff mobilize a group of Japanese students around the Boston airport. Finally, after over an hour, we were able to check-in and get to our gate right before boarding. 

2) Got to LAX and had to run around the entire airport because our flight only (out of three flights going to Narita) was departing from a completely different building - got to our gate when on boarding had started. 

3) Our flight from LAX was delayed for an hour, so we missed our connecting flight to Osaka. 

Currently sitting in Narita, wondering how we'll get to Kansai. 


Update to come!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Madness: When Starvation Isn't Reason Enough to Give

I have been listening to the audiobook Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea for the past week or so.  North Korea has been to me, as to probably most of you, an intriguing black hole that is somehow inhabited.  What goes on in there I could only speculate, as many others, so I sought for insight through this book.  I did not know what I was enlisting for when I started.  As it turns out, the book itself highlight to me issues that are not only unique to North Korea, but to most countries.  I can only speak from my perspective of how I see things as someone living in the US, but what I have observed is what I write about below.

Just as in different parts of North Korea, we live in a world with a huge discrepancy in resources available to one country vs. others.  Just take a moment to appreciate what is happening at a global scale.  While in the United States and other developed countries we are focusing a great deal of effort into determining what the solution to an obesity crisis would be, there are still countries in which coming across a plate of food is a miracle, a rarity not to be afforded by many.  We've all heard about this.  Someone, at some point or another, has told each of us about the starving children and families, the communities plagued by insects and sickness they can't control or fight, the mothers exposed to dangerous bacteria and germs due to a lack of access to clean water.  We have heard these things, yet we are relatively unmoved.  We look the other way and think that someone else, someone out there in the world, will think about such issues.  That somehow, rather than getting involved and contributing to the solution, we should just stay at home, watch the big game on TV, or simply have a nice night of prayer and calmness.  And while we do all of this, there's a young child who's hunger is tearing him appart with pain and suffering, and who's mother is too weak to even fathom venturing into the wild and trying to find grass to feed anyone.  And even if the mother is able to go and find something "edible", it would rarely reach the 500 calories a person is estimated to requires per day to survive.  I say survive, because with 500 calories in a day we would not be able to exert our bodies to any extent without fainting.

We observe this tragedy, or learn about it, and we move on.  We hear the statistics about the millions without food and we turn away.  We think that given the massive scale of the situation, there is nothing we can do to solve the entire problem.  And instead of contributing a little bit to the solution by contributing to feed 10 starving people, we decide that it's better to look away and focus our attention on something else.  And that is where we need to stop and reflect.  This is when I want to give a shout out to everyone.  Because I can't understand at what point we decided that it is OK to forget about human beings that are dying for no good reason, while we instead argue about whether I should pay an extra $10 in taxes or whether you are wrong for not believing that a particular religion is correct.  We create these "pressing matters"  in our heads of things we deeply care about, these games with society that we play each day of arguing and thinking we are better than others given our amazing reasoning skills and arguments, yet the humane part of us is buried deeper and deeper within us and we fail to see how much is not only hurting others, but ourselves.

I would argue that most of us are adjusting to an age of so much change and a hectic pace that we fail to take enough time to sit and reflect.  To realize that in our rush to do things, in our rush to accomplish what we think we should be accomplishing, we are missing the point of life, the point of being alive.  We want to have a life with purpose, yet we fail to see that if we can simply help one human being in need to survive and move on with their lives, that by itself is more admirable than sitting at home mindlessly watching a TV show of no real importance or contribution.  Isn't that purpose enough for your life?  The notion of a superhero that can single-handedly bring a solution to the world problems has infested our minds and we need to let it go.  We need to realize that the outcome of anything in this world is only going to be the sum of the parts, the cumulative actions by all beings, and all we can do is to contribute in our own little way to make sure that our little contribution is adding to the improvement of the world, not simply keeping in neutral or take away from it.  We can continue to strive for more, but can't overlook the importance of working harmoniously with others and make our contribution, as small as it may be, to fix the problem.

Although the book Nothing to Envy first spoke to me about an intriguing political system in North Korea, what the book truly highlighted to me is the madness of the world.  While some starve, the world I have observed is one in which we think that accumulating material items or focusing on ourselves will yield happiness.  Time is slowly proving to us that this is not true, we are growing wealthier, but not happier.  We are growing wealthier and, in general, getting stressed, overweight, rushing through life and never stopping to be in the moment and actually appreciate what is going on.  From what I understand, the people of North Korea need help, lots of help.  And they are not alone.  We may be limited in the aid we are able to give to North Korea given the tight control the government has, but that's only assuming that things remain as they currently are.  There are always solutions, we just need to find them and contribute our own little piece.  And even if North Korea remains the way it currently is, what can we do to help the rest of the world in need?  We don't need to deprive ourselves of all things to give it to others, that's not what I'm suggesting, but let's at least think about these problems and contribute our 2 cents to the solution of it.  That is how the world will become a better place.  When we share love, compassion, and our wealth, the need for division and war starts fading away and we end up with a happier world with less undue suffering.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

It's your turn to be that "someone" who makes a difference

Longing for something causes no harm, but the inability to turn that desire into action harms many.  When you come up with something you most definitely want to pursue, you may be at a loss at first, it may seem impossible.  However, seek to understand what you need to achieve this goal.  Do you need a mentor?  Do you need to gain a new set of skills?  Do you need to first learn about a new industry? If you think "someone else would have done it" or could do it better, you need to stop and realize that "someone else" is too busy minding their own business, and it is your turn to be that person that makes a difference in some area.  So find that drive and get moving.

Problems are only daunting when you don't know what's the next actionable item that will get you closer to your goal.  As such, always think, what is the very next step I need to take to get one step closer to my goal?  Once you have that figured out, just go ahead and take that one step.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
- Lao Tzu

Once the journey is over, you'll look back and be glad you took that first single step, then the second, and the third.  But if you never take the first step, you'll always wonder "what could have been if?"

Friday, January 27, 2012

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?

Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn't seek fulfillment,
but not seeking, not expecting,
is present, and can welcome all things.

- Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

 

Monday, December 26, 2011

A Holiday Update (Not quite a blog entry)

Dear friends,

This holiday season I will be doing something very different (other than spending Christmas Day in Alabama.)  I will be (voluntarily) going to a 10-day Silent Meditation Course starting this Wednesday, Dec 28th. I will be there until January 8th, and of course I won't be reachable during this entire time (no reading/writing/talking/etc. while I'm there).  If you're curious, here's a link with more information about the course.http://www.dhamma.org/en/code.shtml

Also, as a reminder, there is just about a billion people without access to clean water on this world. I am trying to raise just enough money to give access to clean water for just 15 of those people for 20 years. At $20 per peson, that's only $300. Any donation is very appreciated! The link takes you to the donation page which has a truly great video we should all watch explaining "why water?" Watch it just for your own info, even if you can't contribute at the moment! http://mycharitywater.org/p/campaign/?campaign_id=21927

Thank you and Happy Holidays to all!
Omar